Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My vagina is officially offended.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
