he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
