Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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