why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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