some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
