I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
