So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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