problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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