Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
