My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
