he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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