I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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