If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Randomize
