Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize