Have you finally orgasmed yet?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
