We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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