paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
