so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
