week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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