im holly from the hills drunk
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
