Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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