Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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