party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My bed smells like the plague
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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