Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
