Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
