my mouth tastes like poor choices
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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