R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
