when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
