we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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