You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
