I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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