a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
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