if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
