just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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