fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
