I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
