Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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