i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
