my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
