wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
