The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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