based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
