When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
