So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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