I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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