If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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