Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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