so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
How external is "for external use only"?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
