wrigley field is MILF paradise
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
