You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
