just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
