You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
