I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
