he referred to my room as the tit cave...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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